Friday, January 24, 2014

There is no end (that is the least vague title I could think of, sorry :)

Rubbing my hands together, I tried to imagine the warmth, the familiarity of warmth. Maybe if I could imagine it, I'd be it. 

While you're at it, you'd better imagine what Light feels like too. 

             I've been in the darkness for... a long enough time to have lost track. I've given up hope. 
                                 I'd always thought that that cold feeling creeping  into my heart would leave, that there was an end to this tunnel- that there'd be a light I could fix my eyes onto, a light that'd lead me back.

There is no light. There is no end. 

It's not just hope, I've lost faith too. 
           I feel the darkness all around me, but I like that. The world around us, it seems like it has the Light, it feels like it has the Warmth. It doesn't; it's all an illusion. I look at the world around me and it feels like even the winds are rushing past in a hurry, the clouds move on and the sun sets (I'm not even going to start on people). Everything is moving. Nothing is ever the same, nothing is familiar and that's why the darkness is.  
                     The darkness never changes. You can be what you want to be and depend on it that everything around you won't change....all you have to do is close your eyes.

There is no light. There is no end, but if you stop for a second and stop looking around. Then maybe you'll notice that you ARE you're light. 

            Maybe I don't need the light, maybe I don't need to have something to move towards. What if I don't want this tunnel to end? I am  my own light. I'll move on my own terms, I'm won't let the world change me.  I'll close my eyes and stay in the the darkness. I'll stay in the darkness because that's where my light shines best. 
so I made my own place. People call it darkness
but  at least it is my darkness.

Monday, January 20, 2014

The adventures of fan fiction

                 Eliza’s an outspoken American, Darcy’s a blueblood British lawyer. Eliza’s prejudiced to think that her opinion is the only one worth having, Darcy’s pride causes him to be ill suited to recommend himself to Americans. Can hate turn to love? Perhaps...

 This isn't what it looks like....Ok it is (I feel really pretentious now haha)
                            I've just been reading Darcy and Elizabeth fan fiction for hours (which sucks by the way). After I read Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, I couldn't really form any opinions about it, aside from the fact that I love love loved it! But that's pretty invalid because I seem to get emotionally attached to every book I read. Yes, I'm sure I would've liked Twilight if I'd read it (but too many people warned me against it..... I usually don't take book recommendations (or un-recommendations in this case), but once you hear something bad about anything, you can't forget about it. The trash talk hangs in the air..)

Fan fiction really is a weird part of the internet..I mean it has really talented people in it, sometimes when I was reading, it sounded soo like Jane Austen...right down to the semi-colon followed by the "and"...that its pretty hard to believe that it was written by some weird teenager, glorious young adult who puts their writing skills to good use, behind a bright computer screen.
not that anyone actually uses a type-writer anymore..right?
Or should be owning one? omiGod
 I really think that people who write fan fiction have potential. They don't have to be ghost writers forever! They need to start writing their own thing.. Of course many of they do put out their own works but they seem, somehow...bland; like without the base structure of a great (and often classic/old) author they cannot write, like they aren't writers unless their writing over what has already been written.
I know that I can't judge, but don't they see? If only they could reach out just a little further, they can achieve sooo much. Because I totally admired their commitment towards their television-soap-type plots (some lasted for more than 20 chapters!); I just hated the way they had to copy the way the original writers wrote.

I kinda realised that good writing doesn't just depend on a great story, neither does it depend on great writing. It kinda depends on both. A good story has a defined plot but also has good style that does it justice.
People scare me.

I don't know whether I'm ready to write yet... the world of writing seems like a nice bubbly little stream from the outside, but on closer inspection the bubble turn out to be the breath of monsters under the surface.
The world of writing scares me, but I really admire those tough people who're in them.

All I want to say is that I would write if I could, and it really worries me when people who should write won't.