Friday, January 24, 2014

There is no end (that is the least vague title I could think of, sorry :)

Rubbing my hands together, I tried to imagine the warmth, the familiarity of warmth. Maybe if I could imagine it, I'd be it. 

While you're at it, you'd better imagine what Light feels like too. 

             I've been in the darkness for... a long enough time to have lost track. I've given up hope. 
                                 I'd always thought that that cold feeling creeping  into my heart would leave, that there was an end to this tunnel- that there'd be a light I could fix my eyes onto, a light that'd lead me back.

There is no light. There is no end. 

It's not just hope, I've lost faith too. 
           I feel the darkness all around me, but I like that. The world around us, it seems like it has the Light, it feels like it has the Warmth. It doesn't; it's all an illusion. I look at the world around me and it feels like even the winds are rushing past in a hurry, the clouds move on and the sun sets (I'm not even going to start on people). Everything is moving. Nothing is ever the same, nothing is familiar and that's why the darkness is.  
                     The darkness never changes. You can be what you want to be and depend on it that everything around you won't change....all you have to do is close your eyes.

There is no light. There is no end, but if you stop for a second and stop looking around. Then maybe you'll notice that you ARE you're light. 

            Maybe I don't need the light, maybe I don't need to have something to move towards. What if I don't want this tunnel to end? I am  my own light. I'll move on my own terms, I'm won't let the world change me.  I'll close my eyes and stay in the the darkness. I'll stay in the darkness because that's where my light shines best. 
so I made my own place. People call it darkness
but  at least it is my darkness.