The Story of a Song

Since all I've done this week is listen to one song on repeat, it's really apt that my post this week is about the song haha.

           Almost everything that I did this week was based on the song (which I realize haven't named even one in this post yet- it's the Bastille Cover of What would You Do? by City High): I had an hour long discussion about in math class <- that is proof enough that this is a pretty compelling song. I mean if my math class can listen to me talk about it, then it has to be pretty interesting.

Here's how I imagined the story of this song :)
It's the story of the stripper (from the song) and the effect she has on different people..

_______________________________________________________________

"What would you do?" her eyes bore into me defiantly.

              That tripped me up. I felt shame rush through me. But I wasn't in a stripper costume outside a party full of people I went to high school with.

           "What would you do?" she repeated, less forcefully, "if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor because he's hungry. And the only way to feed him was to sleep with a man for a little bit of money." Her voice was almost mechanical, but I saw tears on her thickened eyelashes.

           I thought about what the standard answer to this question would be; I thought about what my mom would say: "Stop making tired excuses," she'd say. Was a hungry baby boy a tired excuse?

            "Londi..." I began, calling out her name, but she was already headed back inside.

What would I do? 

I stare at the door she'd slammed ten minutes ago, feeling my heart beating with the music from the party. 

Her last words resounded in my ears as I jammed my hands into my shapeless jacket with a shiver.

         "I don't need your pity," she'd said, "C'est la vie."

I do what I've got to do; she does what she's got to do. The more I think about it, the less fair life seems. I stare at the door for a little while longer, and walk away, but my heart never stopped beating to the rhythm of that music. 

...

I'm blindly watching the coffee swirl in my cup when I hear the sharp click of high heels on the tiled floor. Who could possibly be wearing heels at a suburban coffee shop on a Sunday morning?

         "Just coffee...umm plain coffee...a small. please," her voice was soft but harsh; it very much lived up to her achingly short shorts. 

I go back to staring at the fascinating movement of the cream in my coffee cup as she walked past me to sit at a table. Could she be any more disrespectful? There are children here!

              I slowly feel the anger rise up inside of me; this woman, she could be from anywhere...she could have done anything last night. I raise my eyes up once in disgust, but I could never look at her again.

              What looked back at me when I'd stared was a person. A person with worries, with troubles. A person whose troubles could be seen in her eyes. 

I dropped my gaze and whiled away my time until I heard her heels clicking on the floor again. Then I slowly walked up the the counter to get some more coffee.

"Was that a stripper?" I asked with a relish.

...

"Morning Mum," Summer murmured sleepily as I set down my tea to give her a hug.

           "Good morning, sleepyhead," I said into her springy brown hair, "we have a big day ahead of us,"

"I know," she said excitedly pulling away from me, "Shopping!"

            I reluctantly let her go. I loved good morning hugs.

"This is so exciting," Summer stated in a loud voice, "I absolutely love this store."

           I chuckled; she was in the italics phase now, and held her hand as we walked in.

"Honey we've tried on tonnes of clothes," I said patiently, "what if they run out of clothes to give you? At least pick one that you like so far..." Maybe this shopping trip wasn't such a good idea after all. Summer is only ten years old.

"Mom..I want to look like her," my lovely girl was pointing at a woman standing about 3 feet away in the shortest possible skirt she could wear. She turned to wave, and I was horrified to see Summer respond enthusiastically.

I will have to talk to her about who is a respectable person, and who is not.

...

I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and wonder what people think of me. Do they know?

Of course they know. How could they not?

                Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder if anyone would find out if I hid what I am. Would they find out just by looking at my face?

                 Sometimes I look in the mirror and see a girl who's haunted by society. I see a girl who doesn't know who she is.

I am Londi Micheals. I'm a stripper, yes. I have a crappy job; I have crappy pay. But I have a little boy who's going to be happy one day because of all the money I'm getting for him. I may have nothing, but I'll give every piece of my nothing to my son's happiness.

I'm Londi Micheals, a proud mom.

____________________________________________________________

Spring Break, Satire, and other odds and ends

            It's spring break; the sun's shining, and the air is filled with the laughs of giggly teenage girls in bikinis and the sigh of a particular teenager whose room is alit by the white light of her laptop screen as she types furiously.

            Okay, maybe I'm not that reclusive, there is natural lighting in this room; plus, anyone who's reading Dante's The Divine Comedy has a free pass to be a buzzkill (apparently not only can you not judge a book by it's cover but also not by it's title.. I can't believe comedy didn't mean funny during Dante's time).

            Speaking of comedy, I tried my hand at Onion-type satire...

I really do admire the likes of Oscar Wilde, comedy comes to them naturally. I do realize that I'm anything but natural, but I'm working on it!

Quote of The Day ~ Dan Brown

                  I've been reading a little more than normal recently, and most of my books have been pretty thought-provoking in a literary sense; they've all told beautiful stories with beautiful underlying messages. However (I feel really formal now haha), these books have been provoking thoughts of appreciation and reflection, but they haven't been provoking thoughts of change.

                Change is really cool. I like it. Everything needs to be changed, because humans have this impeccable ability to ruin everything (I lie somewhere between a cynic and a pessimist); examples would be the environment, the economy (which, I admit, is man-made), and the church (which used to be something so pure, and so loved, but is now hated).

               Before I start rambling about the how everything in the world is bad and we're all probably going to die because of an economic bubble burst and global warming and the collapse of culture and yadda yadda yadda, I should introduce my quote.

              It's one of Dan Brown's accusatory quotes, and it's the most direct way of making one think.

            When I thought about it, I realized that it was true. Every scientific breakthrough has been used in a wrong way. We could do so many good things with them, but we decide to do bad things instead. 

I'm pretty obviously talking about the likes of Nuclear Energy.

            Nuclear power plants have the potential to crush our energy crisis while also cleaning up nature, but instead, we use it to threaten to kill each other. The disasters of Hiroshima and Nagasaki eclipse the fact that countries like France and Germany derive more than 75% of their electricity from Nuclear Power Plants and they haven't had any accidents. 

          Biotechnology, which is used to help us cure diseases, is better known for bioweapon creations.

All these new discoveries have deadly sides as well as good sides, but does that actually mean anything?
Do we stop using these technologies? Do we stop discovering new things?
I mean new technologies do mean new ways to destroy the world and its people...

        The whole theme of ethics, is this good or bad, is really important for science. Should we be destroying atoms and playing with someones God-given DNA? Is that even right?
             Is it ethical to be changing the natural? Are these "groundbreaking" new technologies being weaponized because they are unnatural and quite unnecessary?

           Yes, Technologies can be abused, and they can be used for bad things, but they're also the next step for our evolution, the next step to survive. If we want to keep living in a world where we are inquisitive humans, we're going to have to start changing what we think are ethics.
                      Fire is an interesting analogy. I'm pretty sure the Neolithic cavemen thought that fire was unnatural and unnecessary; I'm pretty sure it went against their ethics, but eventually they(we?) realized that it's not-so-bad and started using it a lot.
           To us, whatever is not considered "natural" is unethical; however, "natural" is constantly changing as our society, and our world evolves. As we change for the better, as we evolve our "natural" changes and our "ethical" changes.
             Ethics always keep us from change, they try to preserve the old, but old is not always great. Especially when we're looking to evolve for the better.
         So new technologies have benefits that far outweigh their harmfulness, and are also necessary for us to continue the process of evolution.

Quote of The Day ~ Oscar Wilde

         I'm sitting in literature class, glancing at the clock every so often, and waiting for friday to end when I read my teachers T-shirt. It says, "Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes." I remember thinking shaking my head at the snarkiness of that shirt when I notice Oscar Wilde's name on the bottom. Wait. That was a quote??
5 hours later: I think I've read every single on of Oscar Wilde's quotes (including book quotes), and judging just by what I've read, he seems like a pretty amazing guy. I mean I admire all authors for their subtle criticism and snarkiness, but I can just tell that he is the king of them all. I love him, I love his sarcasm and satire, and I haven't even read anything he's written (yet).
Here's his quote: (I feel bad for this irony. The cute couple in the background are really cute. Really)

                        First of all, I need to say that I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in The One a.k.a One True Love a.k.a Soulmate (these names are all important enough to be in capitals...soo they need to be taken seriously!) so I thought that Oscar Wilde and I might have problems (if we ever do meet up for coffee that is).
     But then I analysed the quote, and I think maybe (just maybe) Oscar Wilde is right. I interpret the "kiss" as the beginning of a relationship (like a real not-puppy-or-friend-with-benefits thing).
           The first thing this reminded me of was a quote from Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby (the great American novel itself. yay), "He knew that when he kissed this girl,[...] his mind would never romp again like the mind of God." Oscar Wilde actually captured in one sentence a major theme in The Great Gatsby - Love makes you altruistic, it changes you. (Everyone knows about the lengths Jay Gatsby went to for a woman he loved.)Love, whether it is reciprocated or not, makes people a little crazy. Actually, there are a hundred million quotes relating to love which say the exact same thing. But the only negatve one was Oscar Wilde's. The cold cynical quote can be seen in a good light.
           Because relationships do change things a bit. I wouldn't go so far as to say that they "ruin" human life, but the moment you start a relationship, you change things in your life. You are no longer a singular person, you are part of a team. Personal goals, while they aren't cast away, start to come second to mutual goals. And because of this, you may not always achieve all those things you've always wanted to achieve; because of this, you might feel like you've done less. But in a real relationship, you'll be happy and that's all that matters.
           A single kiss could change things: it could change one's ideals, and it could change one's entire idea of happiness. A kiss can bring things into perspective. It actually does ruin one's old life, because after it, comes a whole new life. A whole new level of happiness, goals, ideas etc. The best part? You won't even have to enjoy this new level alone, you'll have someone to experience it with you.

Quote of The Day ~ Socrates

                   I feel so fancy analyzing Socrates' quotes, it's so academic. I mean, everyone deems him as the father of western philosophy; they think he's the wisest of them all (It mayy sound like I'm envious, but I'm just being scornful right now. I swear). I think that we're giving him too much credit. The guy died because he wouldn't keep his mouth shut! He lacks tact and worldliness, both of which are absolutely necessary if one wants to be a philosopher. (Really...if powerful people are telling you to stop talking. You stop talking. And if you really want to be heard, then find an occult way of doing it. Be smart and get things done. Don't be quixotic, it just doesn't work in this world). Anyway, here's his quote:

   I don't know whether I should take the literal meaning of this quote or not. Literally, I don't believe that knowledge is the only good; I think that knowledge and goodness are too separate virtues that don't affect each other. A "knowledgeable" person may not always be good, a "good" person may not always be knowledgeable. Right? Okay, no. Wrong.

                              It depends on the context really, but maybe the good people all have the best kind of knowledge. I mean, if they have achieved a balance of happiness and goodness, then they must possess the knowledge of being able to attain such a position in their lives. I picture a good person, as that perennially upbeat person who is always so kind; who's always smiling, who's so pure and honest that when you look into their eyes you just know that you can trust them, that they don't have petty little problems, that they're on another level. We all know that one person who's so dependable, and so happy; that one person who knows about the bad things in the world, but chooses to ignore them. That one person who's so good but so strong but so happy. Maybe the good on-another-level people of the world have a knowledge of how to live...that's why they're happy.

             Maybe that's why we're (evil is wayy to strong a word) all lost. Okay maybe I should speak for myself, but from what I see in society, I think that most of us have lost our way and our looking for happiness. That's the ultimate goal really, happiness. Some of us have happiness, are at our goal, but we don't see it. That's why we're lost. We either aren't at our goal or we don't know that we're at it. We're ignorant and that's why we're lost.

          Maybe Socrates is right after all, the truly good and happy people are the one's who have a knowledge of themselves; they're those people who know the key to being on another level, they know the key to not letting the troubles of the world bother them. The good happy people know the key to happiness; they have it. The knowledge.

                 

I'm worried, not paranoid

           Why is the world so messed up? Why?

Most people are saying that the eventual occupation of Crimea by Russia isn't a big deal especially because Crimea seems pretty willing to be occupied; most people are laughing off my worry; most people are saying that I sound like an old 70s kid (which is maddeningly ironic because most "people" might be 70s kids themselves!). 

I'm being paranoid.

I mean the occupation of this tiny little country couldn't possibly mean anything right? Russia couldn't possibly be thinking of invading other nations, could it? 

I feel silly saying this; I almost know that I'm going to take this back, but it needs to be said.

What if history is repeating itself? What if we're looking at another Communism vs. Capitalism war? What if Russia gets all strong, and teams up with China, and then vies for the super-power position? (I mean it won't be really hard to defeat America now right.. what with the huge rift in the country's politics created by the Democrats and the Republicans.. it's going to be pretty easy) What if Communist countries become the super powers? 

I'm so frustrated. What of we won't have peace any longer?

The way my history teacher makes us promise that our generation is going to clean things up (in his suddenly softened tone) makes me feel like he's prepping us for war. What if he is? What if Obamacare won't be the only thing we have to worry about soon?

I'm so full of "what if" questions right now, which we all know are the worst kind. I'm worried about the unpredictable, I'm worried about the unreachable, I'm worried about tomorrow.

Everyone thinks that teenagers smoke weed, have unprotected sex, have bad grades, get drunk at college and then ruin their lives. Everyone sees teenagers as ticking time bombs, bombs that'll explode and turn to dust, bombs that'll create chaos and then be gone. 

Everyone thinks that teenagers don't care.

What everyone doesn't realize is, teenagers care more than anyone else. The world we see today, is going to be our world tomorrow. The problems created today will be ours to solve tomorrow. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I think we're all pretty excited to take control of the world; I just want credit for it. I want teenagers to be seen young adult: future inheritors of the world, not as a worthless recalcitrant group of disappearing time bombs.

This is probably a shorter version of what I was trying to say haha:

 

Doesn't really connect, but we're going to be the change all right..

Why does evil exist if God loves us?

Okay, here I am...I think I'm ready (if I'm not....let's not consider the alternative actually, the consequences are too great ugh). I think I can answer the ultimate skeptic question...
                "If your God is so great, why is there suffering in this world?"

        No, I'm not going to say that God works in mysterious ways; he doesn't. God is very very clear about everything he does...Heck, he gave us a book with 27 sub-sections that're totally open to analysis! Anyway....so if God doesn't work in mysterious ways then why does suffering exist?
          Why are some babies born dead? Why do some people find out that they have cancer when they're planning for their weddings? Why are millions of people around the world living under the poverty line while Kim Kardashian spends 21 thousand dollars on a facial (that could be gossip, but we all know that the woman isn't really known for her frugality....not that I hate her actually- she's just a poor, misunderstood, attention-seeking soul)? Would God really let something like that happen?

        It's seems like a paradox. God loves us- God is love, but he still allows us to suffer. But it's Life is about experiences and learning.
not....it's not a dichotomy, it's actually really simple. It's what I've been bleating about all this time,
      It's just like parents and letting their kids go. We all know that if our parents had it their way, we'd all be at home, and nothing bad with ever happen to their little baby (who just so happens to be a 37 year old with a job and partner now). If God was to let no sufferings come to us, then we'd have no experiences...we'd just be like those kids who never left home; except worse, because we won't even know what leaving home is.
       I should quote the Bible right about now, but I have an even better weapon- Dan Brown (yup he even gets to be in bold). Dan Brown is the ultimate skeptic, using really sharp cognitive reasoning to make anything sound doubtful and baseless.....aand I have, in his very words, what I've been trying to say! (I wrote this post solely for this quote...so I hope I was dramatic enough)

"Imagine you had an eight-year-old son…would you love him?”
           "Of course.”
"Would you let him skateboard?”
Chartrand did a double take. The camerlengo always seemed oddly “in touch” for a clergyman.                 “Yeah, I guess,” Chartrand said. “Sure, I’d let him skateboard, but I’d tell him to be careful.”
"So as this child’s father, you would give him some basic, good advice and then let him go off and make his own mistakes?”
         "I wouldn’t run behind him and mollycoddle him if that’s what you mean.”
"But what if he fell and skinned his knee?”
         "He would learn to be more careful.”
The camerlengo smiled. “So although you have the power to interfere and prevent your child’s pain, you would choose to show your love by letting him learn his own lessons?”
         "Of course. Pain is part of growing up. It’s how we learn.”
The camerlengo nodded. “Exactly.” "

-Dan Brown, Angels and Demons

              That really is something coming from a skeptic. God is real, God totally loves us, but He loves us with a fatherly, unselfish love. He loves us so much that He wants us to have the best time possible, and so He gave us the freedom of choice; choice of what we want to do even if He had the power to make us do anything He wanted. Isn't He great?

           As for the people under the poverty line...it was just a chance you know? Some people are sad because they don't have food, some are sad because they don't have friends....Everyone is sad in this world; for some people it's more obvious on the outside, for others, it's more on the inside. Besides, poverty is just another problem created by humankind...not God, and it's humankind that should fix it. If God had His way then no one would be richer than anyone else because He can't pick favorites among His children. 

      God is great, and that's why he lets us live; He hates to see us suffer, but he forces himself not to intervene unless we ask for it. He's the real liberal, loving parent.