Sunday, April 21, 2013

Me/her/my-other-dimension-self? Anya 2.0

 Philosophical me says:
Have you ever wanted to be that girl?  You know..the one who is perfect and everything you aren't?
(im sorry if you are a guy, i don't guys feel that way?...i think thats blogger suicide to say that, because nowadays it sounds like you have to be a guru in your own subject to blog about it..but i admit, i have no idea about howanyone else feels about what im talking about, i just wanted to know f anyone could going off topic again so)
That (again) girl for me is confident and fun and she laughs all the time + when she smiles, the whole world stops and stares for a while(okay i think thats the girl Bruno Mars sings about, not me/her/my-other-dimension-self)i dont know how long I have wanted to be her, but she is the best me i can imagine myself to be.

I dont know whether anyone else actually feels that way but im gonna make her-the other me, that alternate universe me, im gonna make her real. But i dont know whether im gonna be faking it or actually ive been faking it all this time and im actually gonna become the real me(okay hat doesnt make any sense) All i want to know is whether the perfect me (lets call her Anya 2.0) is the me im supposed to be, can i be that funny and confident girl who can talk to anybody whenever she wants
or am i destined to be that quiet girl who has a lot to say but cant really work up the courage to say it to anyone? Is Anya 2.0 hiding behind that mask or is it just my imagination?

to be or not to be
I dont know why im feeling the loss of all this confidence, i feel like a smaller me right now and im ready for Anya 2.0 to come and take the stage and blow them all away.. Not even a feel-good chick flick could save me, someone has to come and take me :/

Am I gonna be that girl behind a mask all my life or am i ready for a transformation?

Teenage me says:
I feel cheesy and weird... is this a mood or is this a wacko brain thing that happens when you hit your head? i dont know...but even if it doesnt pass im gonna have to deal with it.
i sound like my old drama teacher lol