Friday, November 16, 2012

Guilt..(on my parents part)

hobbies? cutting i thought with a smile..
im supposed to be filling a boarding school application form and this is like idk..again the only reason my eyes are dry is because of the contacts
yesterday night was last straw, my parents took me out to KFC it was my idea really but something really pissed me off on the way and i dont know i wasnt in the best of moods at the place :/
My parents were like already like really really angry with me all the torture around my birthday and all that shit...so i was like really weirded out that they would even care to have a nice dinner out at a fast food place
So when we reached and were getting our food i was all like i cant eat and in general being this absolute bitch and my parents...welll they tried soo hard!
My Dad even ask me if we shld go smplace else like a proper sit down restaurant nd this is MY dad we're talking abt he hates my like shit!
They were trying so hard to like cheer me up and all of that I
 really started to wonder y i get really pissed wenever i go out with my parents..y isnt this working?  we have a perfect relationship..i mean i practically talk to them everyday!(okay maybe nt EVERYDAY bt like really often)y isnt it working?is it because i spent TOO much time with my parents?i really dont kno..\
   i mean the thing about teenager is that they hang with their frends more than their parents rite?But i dont know why but ever since i dont know wen ive jst been sticking with my parents though its nt becos im lonely it more like i didnt want to gt hurt..
i left all my friends for a "good christian" life for my parents but it  didnt make me feel any better and now ive got nothing and my parents think they cant take me now.... i mean i am like this (creep depressed freak etc.etc.)only because THEY made me like this anyway and now they dont wat me? what am i supposed to do?
I AM NOT TO BLAME FOR THIS AM I?