Its all you.. No luck, no fate, no destiny. Its just been you all along :)

Have you ever wondered about life...you know just wondered what its all about?
                If your answer was no then...welcome to the club!I never actually did think about it (like your average teenager, things like "Is butter fat?" or "Omg! Wat shld i wear 2moro? O.o" are FAR more important than completely irrelevant matters like life right? )
           Well nevertheless (I cant believe that "nevertheless" is just a fancy way of saying but. Wow..well I might as well use Shakespearean language if Im going say something which actually means something!) here I am, talking about living and all that groovy stuff (there goes my language.)                 Anyway before I get sidetracked and completely forget what Im talking about...let me continue- I came across a blog post which asked an interesting question.

"Do we make our own decisions or is everything in life predetermined?"

Now that IS  a question to think about...Do we actually make the decisions we "think" we are making or is this some sort of screenplay which God wrote out for us in the beginning of the world (I don't know what atheists will have to say for this one :)
                    Do Fate and Destiny really exist? I think not.
If they did exist then we all have someone to blame...prisoners everywhere would say that dying in Jail was their "destiny" or Murderers will say that it was by "fate" that they killed some poor unsuspecting person..

                                No I think Life is like this Giant Obstacle Course, we all constantly face problems (which I have to admit might have been put there by God- well that does sound like fun doesn't it?) but its how we deal with our problems that matters. Every single problem we face has more than one solution- we ALWAYS have options! Always!
                                 Its the path we pick/the option we choose that defines our life- we make our lives not anyone else! Its kinda like an adventure...if you ever feel like there's no way out-You're probably wrong, every problem has a solution. If I were in that place, I would look harder (Now I feel like I'm trying to talk someone out of killing themselves- I've never done that before, it makes no sense to me that someone would want to stop halfway)
                            Anyway, Fate and Destiny are FAR too Hollywood to be trusted in. To be honest real fate and destiny just exists in movies (and in the lives of those lucky people who live the life of a movie -_-)
          So if you think that taking that wrong turn and meeting the guy of your dreams along the hallway is fate...you're wrong. You chose to take that wrong turn and he chose to be there at that particular moment :p (Not to ruin anything but the guy's probably been stalking you for a week)
                            There may be some unexplainable things out there but we really do reap the fruits of our own actions (Now we sound like farmers don't we? :)

                             I know it would make a far more exciting post to write about Love, Faith and Dreams (thats the dream topic :) but then again while Love Faith and Dreams are all real, they can't be used as  this excuse for all our problems..can they? Lets just finish our adventure yeah?

So I think you should congratulate yourself for living- because we all knowhow much hard work it is...and to think you did it without any help! Its all you :)

Ok this is REAL. THIS IS DEFINITELY REAL! (Or is it?)

                                          You may be wondering why I'm freaking out (or you might ignore it all and then just leave the page, secretly asking yourself what you are doing with your time) but I'm going to freak out a little longer.. OMG! OMG! OMG! 

I don't know whether this is some sort of a gimmick or not but apparently

     NASA FOUND A MESSAGE FROM GOD ON MARS
.  (click on the link for the full story)

I know it sounds ridiculous when I say it, but I really think its true..

Whats true? here's the story:

Yesterday in one of its statements NASA stated that their rover had found two "elephant sized" stone tablets, one of them with the 10 commandments engraved on it, the other simply said "I am Real" (in English) Both tablets were signed "Peace and Love- Yahweh" *mind blown*

                              Ok I better admit that the source was COMPLETELY un-credible...that is, it was all some huge joke which someone dreamed up (a pretty good joke too...) Apparently the website I found it on was a "satirical". (This lead to my emergency googling of the word 'satirical'-it basically means sarcastic...I mean who does that? Why would you write satirical if you could just say sarcastic? Their fancy language led to my panic attack- I actually wrote the first two paragraphs of this post while still freaking out) 

                                        Of Course, I'm a Christian and I should have been all happy and rejoicing over the whole deal , but instead I freaked out completely, I thought the entire story (of Christianity) was just some fake thing that somebody pasted in our minds, this could be any time and space traveling freak! who knew? (Excuse the craziness but thats what I genuinely thought...after all I just finished my first Sci-fi series today *yay me!* to be honest, I don't even like sci-fi, I just thought that reading it would make a good experience) 

                           And thus was all because I know that God doesn't have to write "Im Real" on a giant tablet on Mars to actually be real. On the contrary, if this IS real...then something is definitely up...God isn't a faker who does everything for show...he isn't one of us humans...he's a lot more than that..

              

sometimes, you just have to believe WITHOUT having to try it out yourself :p

Well anyway, Im not actually going to talk about Atheists in this post (or in any other post for that matter) I'm just not interested in starting a cyber war
                          What I really wanted to share was the site I found the original "God Exists!" thing on... its all so real, its just like reading a real newspaper, I real this totally convincing article of an interview with Selena Gomez about her ex-boyfriends dick size! (lol i cant believe I just said that), Justin Beiber compares himself to God, and Barack Obama rates the first ladies of the world :p
Dont frget to check it out for some good laughs :) Daily Currant- Google it!
 and if you have a stupid friend (someone like me :p) then you can have some fun :p

Who Is Us?

"We are a misfits living in a world on fire"
                                                                  - Kelly Clarkson
This is one of the many sad songs out there...The kind that is a mood changer. I don't know what it is with people and listening to sad music, because I always thought that music was for having fun and dancing...the fun upbeat thing? Not anymore I guess....
                                  The new trend of music from Imagine Dragons and Kelly Clarkson and all the other “sad song” artists is killing me...I mean I love all the music, but they make me genuinely sad.
                                                                                              I mean that’s how these records even sell...people listen to songs like that and the artists are soo good that they feel like the artists feel for them...but what we are really doing is feeling for the artists! I mean how many of us genuinely feel like outcasts all the time? But after the song, I’m sure most of us had that feeling of being left behind...that feeling of being a misfit? I don’t even know whether that’s real... I hear people talking about how they are “misfits” everyday...I don’t get how that works. How can someone be lonely and an outcast if they can tell a whole bunch of people about it!
                             To be honest none of us are really outcasts, especially if you feel like one immediately after hearing an extremely sad song... The songs are incredible mood changers, they are incredible artists who are able to do that
                                        But Im waiting for music to go back to making me dance instead of cry like in the good old days (like maybe last year?)

 [This is a blog post/gliph from my blog on the new blogging platform-Glipho check it out! Also take some time to look at my Glipho Blog ]

Blog Makeover :)

I know this might be a little irrelevant..nothing to do with being a teenager in California at all but..
           
                      Ive been feeling like a little (that's me-language for really really) down, maybe even a bit depressed, The only thing that makes me feel better when Im depressed, is a major shopping spree and a complete makeover followed by a very serious bathroom selfie photo shoot with my besties :)
   
                 Considering that's no longer possible...I decided to give my blog a makeover and you know what? Ive never had so much fun on a computer before! (okay at times it got a bit annoying, I mean working with HTML is like writing broken up English all over the place..but I survived, the only that HAS gone wrong is my twitter timeline, which is at the bottom of the page and my Instagram which is right next to my twitter timeline...it was a disaster :)

                 So I'm just going to give you a guide to my new-and-improved-version of my blog :)

• Well on the top of the page, Ive got 2 new pages! One is a simple "About Me" page and the other links to my Twitter  (i had to put that Twitter page in following the disaster of my Twitter widget, which still wont come off the bottom of my blog...if you think Im kidding you should scroll down and see for yourselves)
• I changed the template, that's only because I thought the my old one distracted too many people, I used to get comments like "I love the background!" or "Your blog is really pretty!" I was starting to think no one actually read it..

Ok Ive got nothing else....I felt really accomplished because these 2 minor changes actually took me almost half of a lazy Saturday morning..

Also, me and my friend Misha (check out her google plus, shes an amazing blogger!)are going to do collaboration posts on her blog The Weirdo Chronicles (it even sounds fun doesn't it?) We're going to be reviewing chick flicks and actually digging them up deeper than any English teacher could ever go :p, Please check them out :)

*image theres a funny caption here*

            

Act your age!

The Oxford Dictionary defines Coming of Age as-
                                        A young persons transition from childhood to adulthood.

That is pretty simple, but I'd like to elaborate, I think that this"transition" from childhood to adulthood occurs through a number of stereotyped problems...or rites of passage. The problems which everyone of us teenagers go through...    
                     To experience these rites of passage are a part of growing up, these experiences are what make our life, are they not? So I watched a movie today- Girl In Progress, well when I saw the poster, I expected to be a chick-flick (or a rom-com) just my kinda movie...but turns out it was one of those movies which made me think..

       
                 The movie introduced me to "Coming of Age" literature and made me recognize it as a separate genre. To make its very long and extremely complicated story short..See the little girl in the picture? She decided that shes gonna speed up growing up and made a list of all the rites of passage for growing up [which she got from movies like Mean Girls, Uptown Girls, Nanny Diaries etc. etc. (or as my brother calls them "girl movies"- for being dreamy and beautiful but also fake)]

Her list went something like this--

1.  Steal money for makeover
2. Be a bitch and impress popular girls
3. Have a teacher as a mentor, making sure that she notices my untapped talents
4. Hang with popular girls and let down mentor so that she calls my mom
5. Let down mom by playing "loud music"
6. Get invited to coolest party and loose virginity to the stupidest, most insensitive douchebag in the school.
7. Move to New York and start a new life

I know I make it sound really bad, I know I make it sound crazy...but I still think shes got the right idea, I mean no one CAN grow up without actually going through the rites of passage...
I've thought about them, and here they are-

• Want independence... that's why there are so many tantrums, parents don't want to let go and kids feel trapped.
• Rebellion...i think this is aftermath of the sudden feeling of being caged at home..We're just bursting out of those houses. (Hence the punk clothes and the douchey attitude)
• Losing Control...I may sound like an adult when I say this and I do feel like a bit of traitor when I type this out but, after some time, teenagers loose sight of the end goal, the whle idea of annoying the parents and going with the flow blinds everything out. The stage of never being sober is here!
• Realizing your mistakes and cleaning up....just in time for graduation :)

I know that sounded like I was criticizing the teenage ways or whatever, but what I actually was doing was appreciating them, you learn valuable lessons from all of this!
                 When parents don't let us out of the house we jump the fence!...There's that feeling of invincibility, the ceiling cant hold us can it? How are we going to ever learn if we don't make those mistakes? Going through those rites of passage are super important...maybe our parents think they can "protect" us from them, the parties, the drugs and the alcohol but we all know that the overprotective parents produce the sneakiest kids..

I know its cliche for me to now say that its all parents fault, but it isn't. They just gotta know when to let go and when to be there for us, which can be tough considering how moody I am most of the time.(So Im automatically going to assume that most people having swinging moods too :)
                  What I think is, you have to be a teenager, make those mistakes without completely letting go of that safety bar. On the other hand you can't just hold onto that bar and think about your future..that's not living.
                        I don't want to live the teenage life my parents want me to live, but hey! its my life I'll live it just the way I want to..
                     But remember we're all going to learn a lesson, because we are all going to make mistakes...That's what being a teenager is all about, its about making mistakes but learning from them.
                    So that's what it is...your gonna learn something, but right now lets have some fun!

Im just me....what about you?

I suddenly realize I'm running...as fast as I can (secretly cursing myself for not running this fast during my PE final) and I don't know where or for what, I'm just running..

              When I finally do stop, I realize what I had been doing, I wasn't running TO anything, I was running away...away from society and away from none other than my conscience.. let me explain....before you conclude that I'm crazy.

Philosophical Me says:

                     I don't know whether anyone else has felt that way before, but suddenly I really don't care..(its quite a different matter to say that you dont care than to actually not care) but I feel like EVERYTHING, literally everything i do or say or wear or judge or feel ashamed of is dictated by my society...

Every word I say is judged by my own conscience which beats me up when I think that I have hurt someone.

Everything I do is judged by me, my family or everyone else....I don't get to tell complainers to just shut up, I dont get to say that some people have it much harder than them.

Everything I wear is (has to be) picture perfect (supposedly)...I dont get to shop at the boys department or at Walmart because Im going to be judged and ostracized by the "in" group

You can ask whos stopping me from doing all those things (shutting people up, shopping at the department store etc. etc.) and the answer is ME! Im the one whos stopping myself from doing all those things, Im the one who hurts myself when I tell someone that I dont care about their life...its all me!

Thats what makes it all the worse, I want to be free of society and free of me. I want to stop picturing this ideal me and pressurizing myself to be that "ideal me"...In my previous posts I refered to her as Anya 2.0 (in case ur interested click here if u want to know abt Anya 2.0 :) Thats just the point....Anya 2.0 isn't what the real me wants, its what the society-minded me wants...

Anya 2.0 would be the girl perfect for the world around me, she is that social butterfly, that popular girl. But is Anya 2.0 really me? No...not really. Anya 2.0 is what everyone else would like me to be, shes what I have be unconsciously trying to be... the question is whether I really want to be her

So this is what I screamed out to the busy freeway from my building top yesterday.. "Who am I??"  The wind answered for the freeway---"You're you"

My view + my hideous feet :)

So thats it, thats exactly what it is, Im me and Im going to be exactly that, Im not going to let society dictate what I think about me or about others...Its going to be hard, but Im going to trust my OWN instincts..

Teenage me says:

no comment on this one, Im pretty sure Im right :)

Im Cleaning Up (Finally!)

Okay I think the title was a bit too dramatic, or maybe its because too many people use these simple words in a very dramatic way...

If you know what I'm talking about, I am not sobering down after a brief stint of alchoholicism (is that even a a word?) and i am NOT realizing my mistakes of skankiness or drug abuse (i was gonna say stoner-ism but that would be too many made up words in one sentence :p) because I have never actually been that drunken/stoned/slutty bitch. (I have been JUST that bitch, which is fine)

For those of you who dont know what I'm talking about, never mind (or would you like me to explain it? its not that long.... *watches petrified readers run away* okay, it wasn't that important anyway)

By Cleaning Up, I mean that I am removing all the nasty ads and shit that have been plaguing (is THAT a word? well it doesn't have a red line under it... #SeemsLegit) my blog lately.

I think the reason I have all these advertisements and pop-ups on my blog is that after a while (a really short while actually) of legitimate blogging, which actually meant something and which people did read, i got obsessed with like my pageviews, I was really disappointed with the number of views I was getting so I decided to do the ultimate....my secret weapon for supposed "success"--

I Googled "How to get more pageviews on my blog?" I don't know if I am crazy or whether every other blogger in the world does that too (I'm guessing they don't...but whatever, I am the person who freaked out at puberty because i thought I was turning into an alien freak)

What came up was this whole bunch of sites that promise to give you a booming traffic if I simply added some sort of widget from their site onto my blog.....That made me go "Dang! That sounds easy!!" I was all for it, I registered on ALL of those sites...(yeah, it was one looong afternoon of repeatedly putting in my name and DOB and other shit..)

I must admit that these sites did give me a "booming" traffic, I did get a lot more pageviews and yes, I WAS happier...... for a time (does this sound like a story, because it feels like I'm telling a story WITH  a moral)

But all these sites give you are a number of people who click on some random add by mistake and get redirected to my blog when they dont want to visit, so i guess they just go back to what they were doing before.

I don't think that they are "traffic" exactly.....after a while even I didnt want to visit my site because everytime i clicked on the link i kept getting redirected to some sort of porn website... (the day-yesterday- i decided enough is enough was the day i saw a women close to my mothers age in Victoria's secret winking at me from a screen that was supposed to be displaying my blog!)

Okay to make a long story short I deleted all the ads and put a poll in the empty space instead (though that was a bit of a....ok not a bit,, it was an epic failure, actually it IS an epic failure because i dont think its done yet)

Well since I think i have been rambling on and on, I should cut the crap and get to the moral which is: "Write for yourself, to make YOU feel better not for praise or attention from others because that (the second type) is not real writing"
It may not have been the best moral but hey! I don't want it to be too cheesy.